If you have been following me for a while, then you know the month of November is very hard for me. My grandmother died on 11/16/95 and my uncle died on 11/23/05. Then, I had a cousin die on 11/22/09. You talking about a DREADFUL month???? Yes!! Some would say well, why are you still dealing with it? And my reply is everybody grieves differently! That's all.
My grandmother was my heart and soul. Our relationship was like none other. Yes, I know all grandparents love their grandchildren. But ours was different. 90% of what and who I am today, is because of my grandmother. Church. Personality. Style. Music. Singing. I learned it all from her. I lived with her and spent many, many days with her. Pretty much when you saw her, you saw me. When she died, a piece of me died. Literally! I miss her so much. I don't think I have any words to describe it.
My uncle was like a dad to me. I didn't grow up with my father in my life, so I had my uncle. My grandmother had 4 daughters and 1 son and when I tell you he took care of us all, HE DID! Every holiday. Every Sunday for family meals. Every day just to check-in. Every birthday. He also did my grandmother's hair. The day he died was Thanksgiving that year and that holiday hasn't been the same. He was also a musician and I learned a lot from him as well.
My cousin was the comedian of the family. It was never a dull moment when he was around. He was on a mission trip and next thing you know we were getting a call that he was in the hospital in critical condition. Every time we got news about him, it was never good. Then, that dreadful call that Sunday morning telling us that he had transitioned on.
When you are close to someone and they leave you for eternity, it's a hard feeling. It shifts my life because they are a part of my life and to not have them in it, hurts. I have heard, grieve, and move on. Let me tell you, it's not easy at all!! Stop telling people how to grieve because when you come upon that moment when you have to grieve, you don't want anyone telling you anything. I do attend counseling and every now and then, my grandmother and uncle come up in conversation. I am not ashamed to tell my story. And, you shouldn't be either.
And guess what, it's okay to grieve.
xoxo
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